‘Tis the season! The holidays are upon us, and here at Gaily Grind, we know picking out the perfect gift can be a bit of a challenge. So we picked out some of our favorites for the top or bottom in your life.
1. For the guy who swears he’s not a bottom but he totally is.
Scream it loud, wear it proud. (Okay, maybe don’t scream it.) We all have that guy in our lives that swears he’s a strict top, but you just know that deep down inside, he really wants a dick, well, deep down inside. Help him share his secret with this not-so-subtle tee.
2. For the guy who hates dirty sheets.
There’s nothing worse than being in the midst of a hot and steamy sex sesh when, seemingly out of nowhere, first there’s the odor, and then there’s the dirty sheets. It can happen to the best of bottoms, but that doesn’t wash away the sense of shame and embarrassment. Pop a couple of these every day to help keep everything cleared up — we swear by this at the GG office — and say goodbye to dirty sheets.
How does it work? It’s 100% vegan blend of natural psyllium husk + chia + flaxseed dietary fibers that cleans you out perfectly every time. Apparently, Metamucil only contains Psyllium Husk. This is The Gaily Grind’s favorite gift for bottoms this year. Our only question is, why didn’t someone think of this sooner?
3. For those who like it fruitier (and always have a drink in their hand).
Bring a little pizzaz to your froufrou fruity drinks at your next gathering. This spigot turns any thick-skinned, hollowed out fruit into a disposable keg. Just scoop out the insides, tap it, and fill with whatever drink you want.
4. For the guy who wants a blowjob for Christmas.
Sometimes being a bottom means that, while you get the satisfaction of getting fucked, actually getting off is something you gotta take into your own hands sometimes, so to speak. The Autoblow2 is a happy compromise: it might not be the real thing, but it feels damn close to it. Give the gift of a blowjob this holiday season with the most popular toy of the year.
Coupon code: They good folks at AutoBlow gave us a code you can use to get $40 off on their website. The code is GAILYGRIND and it expires 12/30/2015.
Check out the hilarious infomercial:
5. For those religious bottoms who are always on their knees.
Don’t let the name fool you. Though called the Orthodox Calendar, this monthly wall planner is anything but. In the latest edition of the wildly popular calendar, Orthodox priests disrobe in hottest (and most scandalous) calendar of the year. Each month reveals a new, provocative image with strong religious overtones, making this a decidedly not-for-the-office calendar, but perfect for at home. As an added bonus, for each calendar purchased, 10% is donated to support LGBT causes in Russia. Pick up the 13-month calendar here.
6. For the fancy bow tie guy in your life.
This is the perfect accessory to the bow tie–clad, cleancut fashion-forward guy in your life. The timepiece is timeless in its design, while being bold in its simplicity.
7. For the size queens.
25% off and free shipping with code GRIND at AdamMale.com
Finding a guy to come take care of your needs isn’t always easy, especially when your needs are insatiable. This flexible prostate stimulator will save the day. (Again and again and again.) The thick, eight-inch Colt Flexer bends and keeps the position you want, and delivers 10 increasingly intense levels of pleasure, from vibration to pulsation.
8. For the guy who is serious about his fashion but hates fashion magazines.
This is for the guy in your life that is sick of today’s mainstream fashion, and the magazines that promote it, but still wants to read about his well-thought-out anti-fashion fashion statements. (Still following us here?) You won’t find couture or thousand dollar shoes here; instead, be prepared for topics like plaid shirts and mustaches.
9. For the aspiring bottom.
The perfect last-minute gift: There’s more to bottoming than just laying back and getting fucked. Even the most sexually active bottoms can struggle with the pain that can come from taking a huge dick the wrong way. This book is a tell-all guide to bottoming, coaching you on how to physically — and mentally — prepared yourself to take on even the biggest anaconda. You can get it right now because it’s a PDF that instantly downloads to your computer. Making it the perfect e-gift for the aspiring bottom in your life.
10. For the guy who is always on his phone.
Get him a Jack’d premium account so he can try to meet Mr. Right. (Or Mr. Right Now, at least.) The premium version of this app is devoid of all ads, shows up to 500 local guys, lets you browse anonymously, and gives you more filters so you can really drill down to find your ideal match. Use an iTunes or Google Play gift card to give Jack’d Premium.
11. For the bottom with a nice ass.
Ever been fucked in a jockstrap. (Why not?) Curbwear’s selection perfectly highlights your best asset and, as an added bonus, the front pouch lifts your business and keeps it looking its best, while still tucked away. The perfect jockstrap in form and style.
Or for the top in your life:
Show them who’s top with Curbwear’s Identity Enhancing Top brief.
12. For the guy that wants an instant POV picture.
Polaroid photos aren’t a thing of the past; they’ve just been reinvented. The Polaroid Snap is a slick, pocket-sized camera that instantly prints your photos in full color, black and white, or vintage sepia. To boot, it comes with 32GB storage, to keep all your shots saved digitally.