A previously self-identifying straight dude took to the Reddit message boards to share the story of how a gay kiss on a popular television show led to his first encounter with another guy.
An anonymous 24-year-old using the pseudonym fly_idol says a gay kiss on the ABC series “How To Get Away With Murder” helped unlock his bi-curious side.
He also says he has recently ended a two-and-a-half year relationship with his girlfriend: “Simply put, it just didn’t feel right anymore. I’m not sure if it ever did feel right, but that’s a whole different story.”
Here’s his story:
I’m a 24 year old guy. All my life I’ve thought of myself as straight. I liked girls. I dated girls. The whole shabang. I had been in a relationship with a girl for a little over 2.5 years until we broke up around September of 2014. I was the one who ended the relationship. I just wasn’t feeling it. I felt like things were stagnating and that they weren’t moving in the right direction. Simply put, it just didn’t feel right anymore. I’m not sure if it ever did feel right, but that’s a whole different story.
So after the breakup, I took some time to focus on myself & my career. I didn’t go on dates or flirt with other women, I concentrated on me. One night I was watching How to Get Away with Murder (comes on ABC, awesome show btw) and I saw Connor and another guy making out. That didn’t bother me at all. In fact, I started to get hard. I had no idea why at the time.
I had been thinking about why I got hard seeing two guys make out for a couple of days. So my curiosity got the best of me and I started looking up gay porn. Come to find out, it really turned me on. This went on for a couple of months until finally I decided that I was going to give in to my curiosity and find out for myself if this is what I liked.
So around January 2015, I decided to put up a profile on Grindr. I didn’t have my face or anything on there. I got a few messages, mainly creepy old guys wanting to get off. I turned them down.
One day, I got a message from a guy who lived in a city about 3 hours away. Just a simple, “hey man what’s up” message. I thought 3 hours was a long ways away, but talking couldn’t hurt, so I messaged back. Turns out we both had the same degree, same taste in music, same this, same that – just a whole lot in common. We chatted on Grindr for hours. I was really enjoying the conversation. I liked talking to him. Let’s call him Justin.
Justin and I exchanged phone numbers and we continued texting each other for another couple hours. By now we had probably texted each other for a good 5-6 hours. We exchanged photos of each other and talked about school and work, the usual get-to-know-you conversation. We talked about what we wanted. I was honest and said that I was just curious and wanted to mess around with another guy to see if I liked it or not.
Justin had messed around with other guys before in college. Justin is two years younger than me (22) and graduated college in spring of 2014. He has a good job at a large company. He also thought of himself as a straight guy, who was just curious. He had never dated guys, only messed around a few times. In fact, he had just got out of a relationship with a girl about the same time I did.
So anyways, we continued texting and then we traded snapchat names. That was when the fun began. We didn’t send nude pics, at least not at first. But you know how that goes.
So we talked to each other every day for about a week. That was when he brought up the idea of meeting up. I live by myself and he has a roommate. I told him that he could drive up to my place since that would probably be easier (don’t have to explain anything to a roommate). So we decided to meet up that weekend. I was nervous. I had no idea what would happen. I was thinking, ‘what if he gets all the way up here and I don’t like it?’ Thoughts like that occupied my mind for the rest of the week.
Then the big day arrived. I was going to finally meet Justin. He got on the road right after church. He snapped me a couple times on the drive (yes, I know, dangerous slaps wrist). Finally, a couple hours later he arrived at my place. He said he was coming up the stairs and that’s when I opened my door and saw him. He was so hot. I had no idea what came over me. I was frozen because he looked 100 times better than any of the snaps or pics he sent. I invited him in and shut the door.
We sat on the couch and talked for a while. Normal conversation, nothing weird. Then I suggested going on a drive around town, just to relax and not feel pressured to do anything too quick. We went driving around town for a while and decided to grab something to eat. After supper, we were on the way back to my place. It was dark outside already. I was driving and he was in the passenger seat. He reached over and put his hand on my knee and said, “so uh, is this awkward at all?” When he touched me, I literally got chills down my spine. I loved it. In fact, I was hard in like 2 seconds flat. I said, “I don’t think it’s awkward at all” trying to sound confident. That’s when I reached over and put my hand on his knee. I asked him the same question, and I got the same response as I had given.
When we got home, we couldn’t wait to get to the couch. We started making out, and that led to other things that I won’t post on here. Let’s just say we thoroughly enjoyed each other. Fast forward a couple hours and he had to leave so he could be back home at a decent hour.
So that was my first experience with a guy. I loved it. I was scared to be honest. This was all so new to me.
Justin and I have talked to each other every single day since we first started talking back in January. Some weekends he would come up to my place and stay the night. Others I would go to his place and pretend to be his friend who is in town, thinking about moving there and looking at apartments and companies for jobs.
We don’t want anyone to know about our secret. So I’m totally a closet bi/gay. The past few weeks, I’ve developed really strong feelings for him. I truly care about him more than anyone I’ve ever been with. We’ve talked about it and he feels the same way towards me. I’ve always been bad about moving too fast with things. He told me he wanted to take it slow (even tho we’ve done just about everything already) because he really likes me. My problem is I have NO idea what taking it slow means. I’m wondering if it means meeting up less often, not having sex every time we’re together, not doing sweet little things for each other (he cooked me supper one night instead of us going out to eat). But I am determined to take things as slow as we need to so that we can be happy together. This is both so new to us so I think that’s why.
Anyways, does anyone out there have a similar story/experience? I want to know how it turned out and all that. Advice on taking things slow after having done everything together already? Hopefully I posted this in the right place.
TL;DR – I thought I was straight, got curious, started chatting with a guy 3 hours away, met up, did everything together, talked everyday since we met, developing feelings for each other, need to take it slow, not sure how but determined to figure it out, never been happier, both closet bi/gay.