Did you know that the average size of an adult male penis is about five and a quarter inches, erect.
About 0.6 percent of the population has what’s known as a micropenis, a penis that measures three inches when erect. The cause is thought to be inadequate testosterone in the later stages of fetal development, or maybe insensitivity to androgen.
NYMag spoke with a 51-year-old English teacher from the U.K., who gave an in-depth account of his life with a micropenis.
How big is your penis?
It varies a lot, but I will give you my latest findings from the tape measure department: Max length is 2 inches soft, and 3 inches hard. The circumference — 3.3 inches soft, 4.0 inches hard
When did you realize you were smaller than average?
It built up over time. When I was 9 years old, my parents split up and my dad would send me to stay with friends and relatives during the summer. And I was quite a screwed-up kid and I was a compulsive bed wetter, so I would wake up in the morning and my bed was soaking, all the sheets and everything. On one occasion, my friend’s mother got really angry and told me I must not do this anymore and I had to take off my wet pajamas in the kitchen in front of everyone and that’s something I remember vividly. It was quite a horrible time and it happened once again when we went to stay in a hotel in the west of England.
At this point, I was about 12 and I was quite fat because I lived with my dad and he didn’t cook, so I was just eating loads of junk food. I was pre-puberty and I was embarrassed all the time. When I wet the bed, the manager, a woman, said if you do that once more I’m going to cut off your silly little willy. That really stuck with me. Very soon after that, at secondary school, we were all made to do gym, and when we were in the changing room, that’s when I really became aware of how different I was because most of the other boys were entering puberty and I was already very embarrassed about my body, but it just got worse. I got really badly bullied and teased by the kids and the teachers. The teachers were worse than the kids. It was really quite nasty. They didn’t refer to my penis, but the kids did. I just wanted to hide. I was so plump I couldn’t even see it.
When did your penis stop growing?
When I was 14. Quite honestly, my entire life has been shaped and damaged by my penis size. I’m still not really over it, even though I’m way into middle age. I’ve had relationships, but they’ve never been terribly good, particularly not from my partner’s point of view. I always feel like I can’t do what I should be able to do as well as most people. That’s what I worry about. And doctors have never been any help.
Did you feel more comfortable showing your penis to other men?
Men made me feel stranger than women did. They objectified me as the “little dick guy” and were more likely to humiliate me. But humiliation can be quite enjoyable in itself if you get twisted enough. That’s when I thought maybe I should reveal and flaunt my small penis.
What role did you take when you had sex with men? Did you enjoy it?
I was usually “the bottom” although I did have a night with a guy who just wanted to suck me. I was a bit shocked at the time and did not enjoy it as much as I should have. I am still unsure about all this — like I said. I was simultaneously attracted to the gay scene and yet averse to the idea of having sex with a man. Maybe I was just too cowardly? If I had let go and made myself become a real gay, that might have been my salvation.
These days, do you identify as gay or straight? Who are you attracted to?
My predictable physical ideal is a skinny, small-breasted, narrow-hipped, boyish, probably dark-haired, intellectually dominant woman who will not be bothered with makeup and such and will tell me exactly what she wants me to do and will get quite annoyed if I fail. I have never actually had a relationship with such a woman.
Can you have penetrative sex?
It’s really very difficult. All the other things are fine: oral, manual and I have never got into all the additional things, the toys, the strap-ons and the vibrators. I don’t like it. I love bodies, touch and all those things are great, but full sex is something I just can’t do properly. My penis is just not big enough. When I’m having sex I’m always aware that she’s probably pretending to enjoy things more than she really is and the last woman I was with admitted that was true and that just stopped me dead. I knew it was true and of course it’s not her fault, it’s my fault.
Is there any sexual activity for which you think having a small penis works in your favor?
Yes, oral sex, giving it rather than receiving it. I’m often worried that women feel they have to return the favor, but I would need to be very thoroughly persuaded that any woman would really want to put my horrible little penis in her mouth, and then taste the result. I would like to think I might be good at other things — maybe as a gentle, miniature introduction to anal sex, but I have never had the nerve to ask if it might be wanted.
Do you focus on your physical appearance much? Is dress, grooming important to you?
Yes, how did you know? But in my case, it’s a joke. When I earned better money, I would spend a lot on stylish clothes and especially shoes, but when I put them on, I immediately realized how ridiculous I was, how ridiculous I appeared. I adore and admire those of all sexes who can wear clothes well, who understand and exploit their own beauty.
Do public restrooms cause you anxiety?
It is quite difficult sometimes and there’s nothing worse than being desperate to go and getting to the urinal and you’ve got to get it out and over your clothing before you release and it can sometimes happen at the wrong point and then your pants are covered. I have to shave any hair away from there because it gets trapped very quickly, especially because I’m not circumcised. In London, we have these “Gentlemen’s” public toilets where you all stand in a row, trying to pee, trying not to notice the next guy’s penis. Imagine how much worse it was for me, try to stretch what I had out so as not to drench my trousers? To avoid these obvious disasters, I always try to find a cubicle: Sitting down is the only safe way I can pee.
So you do feel a need to disclaim before you’re naked, or do you do it when you’re in the moment?
I’ve fallen in love so many times in the last decade, and, oh God, this is what really kills me: There are some people who must wonder why the fuck I acted so weird with them. Because we get to a certain point and then I try to take my foot off the accelerator and have to reverse because we get to a point where the next step is to get into bed and I didn’t really want to do that. I’m happier masturbating. I’m sorry. It’s crude and horrible, but I think it’s a fairer because I’m protecting them from that horrible disappointment. It’s like selling a car that doesn’t have an engine you have this beautiful car but there’s no engine. It doesn’t do anything. But I still have the same desire and the same yearning. I must be lucky because I haven’t done anything wrong but I can understand why some men go mad and do horrible things. Sex is such a powerful force. I keep reading about these cases where guys feel they’ve been embarrassed or humiliated and take their revenge on women or children and do terrible things, I think there’s something in society that doesn’t help this whole setting up of what’s a proper man. It’s just human nature — I think it’s biology, really; it’s the survival of the fittest and the biggest and the strongest.
Do you use condoms?
That’s a terrible story. When I was desperate to get into bed, to get into women, I was trying to find condoms that worked but I still haven’t found one. You can get ones that are really small, but there’s so many sad stories of that. Oh no. There are small ones these days, but back then you couldn’t. It was one size fits all, and it didn’t. It didn’t fit at all by any means, and of course the few girls that I’ve known had practiced with their boyfriend the best way of putting on condoms, but when they met me and had to deal with me, it was just totally different. It’s not like a banana at all; it’s a little battery. All I can ever do is say I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.